Yet, if I can be vulnerable, I am haven’t found myself full of love about this transition. I wouldn’t call my feelings “dread.” Though I would name it fear.
I am not sure where I thought I would be by now. But I am not there. Really, I had hoped to be on a mountain peak during this season, not found in a valley. These past several years have been, from my limited view for now, ripe with setbacks.
I wanted to be further along in many areas of life. And I am filled with an urge to “do something” about that. As if, somehow I can make up for lost time…
By His grace, I have been reminded a lot this week about His caring command: “Be not afraid.” It brings me great comfort to know that, as my friend Joy said in a brilliant blog last Christmas, He knows it’s going to be scary down here!
That command—“be not afraid”—is said to be used, in some form of the phrase, 366 times in the Bible. That’s one for every day of the year, including leap day. While that is tough to verify, it is certain that the command to “be not afraid” is used more than the command to “love.”
You see, according to the Scriptures, perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). So when God says “do not be afraid” in His Word, He also means to say “because I love you.” The good news for us—for me—is that, in light of John’s teaching, we know that the opposite of fear is love. God isn’t saying “don’t be a wuss…grow a spine!” His command to cast out fear is yet another way He expresses His love for us. He is really saying: “be not afraid…be loved.”
He’s not asking me to do anything. He’s asking me to receive something. He is willing to give the gift of faith—the courage to be loved by Him, even in those moments when we feel like we had so much further to go than where we find ourselves now. And that gift brings a deeper trust that He is using all things for His glory and my good. No need to make up for lost time. I am exactly where He wants me—in need of Him.
Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid (John 14:27).”
My paraphrase: “Paul, today find yourself 30…and being loved by Me.” That, my friends, is an indescribable gift—fit for this birthday and perfect for my needs.
Thank you, Lord.
