Poetry is one of the most intimate forms of communication. God himself uses poetry in the Bible to communicate His heart for His people. The opening chapters of Genesis contain the first love poem ever written—Adam’s “whoa man!” reaction to seeing his wife, Eve. Within every heart since, there is the longing of a poet.
A poem can share your heart like nothing else can. It allows for mystery and complexity. I enjoy reading and writing poetry. However, I am sometimes hesitant to share it with others. For example, I wrote a poem called “Hello, Loneliness” during my first months here. My fear was (and is) that others will see the title and be quick to think: “Oh no, Paul is lonely! We should fix that right away and quote Bible verses, stat!”
However, that would be to miss the point of the poem itself. As Americans, we often like to keep things light and happy. If we don’t entertain ourselves to death, we at least want to entertain ourselves until death. Thus, words like loneliness scare us. But we do not need to fear loneliness. Loneliness is a reality for us, as sinful people in a fallen world. And, if we allow Christ to redeem it, it can be a pathway to something better. It can lead us to greater fellowship in the community of saints. Indeed, it can spur us on to deeper communion with God. Consider what Elisabeth Elliot wrote in her book, The Path of Loneliness: Finding Your Way through the Wilderness to God:
“Our loneliness can’t always be fixed, but it can always be accepted as the very will of God for now, and that turns it into something beautiful. Perhaps it is like the field wherein lies the valuable treasure. We must buy the field. It is no sun-drenched meadow embroidered with wildflowers. It is a black and empty place, but once we know it contains a jewel the whole picture changes. The empty scrap of forgotten land suddenly teems with possibilities. Here is something we can not only accept, but something worth selling everything to buy. In my case, ‘selling everything’ meant giving up the self-pity and the bitter questions. I do not mean we are to go out looking for chances to be as lonely as possible. I am talking about acceptance of the inevitable. And when, through a willed act we receive this thing we did not want, then Loneliness, the name of the field nobody wants, is transformed into a place of hidden treasure.”
Here, I face feelings of loneliness (or perhaps, aloneness) often. It is a given part of the call. We are told to deny ourselves, carry our crosses, and follow Christ. Self-denial makes one feel the weight of crossing the bridge from your old way of living (self-centered) to the new life that Jesus gives (God-centered). We feel alone at times. But we are not alone, for the Father is with us. We can navigate those feelings to find Him.
With that in mind, I share with you now my heart on loneliness in poem form. Be gentle.
…
Hello, Loneliness, my old friend.
I thought we wouldn’t meet again.
I didn’t expect you anymore
When Love came dashing through my door.
I felt that we would grow apart
When Faith showed up and won my heart.
And I was sure you’d walk away
When Purpose came and made my day.
But there you stand, arms open wide
Waiting anxiously for a sign
That still I want you, as before
When clueless what Life had in store,
I clung to you, and you alone.
You always were a clever foe,
Saying you can never go
Where people talk and hearts unite—
But Shadows lurk where there is light.
When daytime slowly turns to dark,
And Fear encircles like a shark,
You take your chance to sing and shout
And prance around the place of Doubt.
And now you dance, with such a smile
Knowing that, in just a while,
I may see you yet again
And hug your neck and call you friend.
I do not like to be alone.
You do not count it as defeat,
When Love and Faith and Purpose meet,
And take me to their golden throne,
To tell me of a better Home.
For then you whisper in my ear,
“You’re just a man—and we’re still here.
Perfection lies beyond the stars,
But as for now—this World is ours.”
So here I am, to do no other
Than count you as my earthly brother.
Who welcomes Good without Bad?
And who knows Happy unless Sad?
Oh, why should I as yet deny
That to take their Breath, I must feel you Sigh?
One does not exist alone.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Prayers and Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is upon us. And I have found myself meditating on Philippians 4:6 – “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
This holiday season reminds us to give thanks for good food. More so, it is a great time to find ourselves counting our blessings and praising God. Those are two areas that I can always be better at: praying and giving thanks. We are instructed, after all, to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and to give thanks always (Ephesians 5:20).
I moved to my new apartment this weekend. As I will be without internet at home for a while, I am not sure how possible it will be to post updates these next few weeks. But I hate to leave you without holiday reading. Thus, I happily commend to you some great books of prayer written by my dear friend, Andrew Case.
I am very thankful for his encouragement in my life. And I cannot be more proud of the wonderful work he has done. I am challenged by his books to pray more fervently for those whom I love—even the wife I have yet to meet. His works include prayers of husbands for their wives, prayers of wives for their husbands, and prayers of parents for their children.
He has blessed us with easy-to-view, easy-to-download online copies. I have included them here. I pray this Thanksgiving produces a holy joy in our hearts and deepens our commitment to seek His face.
Blessings ~ Paul
This holiday season reminds us to give thanks for good food. More so, it is a great time to find ourselves counting our blessings and praising God. Those are two areas that I can always be better at: praying and giving thanks. We are instructed, after all, to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and to give thanks always (Ephesians 5:20).
I moved to my new apartment this weekend. As I will be without internet at home for a while, I am not sure how possible it will be to post updates these next few weeks. But I hate to leave you without holiday reading. Thus, I happily commend to you some great books of prayer written by my dear friend, Andrew Case.
I am very thankful for his encouragement in my life. And I cannot be more proud of the wonderful work he has done. I am challenged by his books to pray more fervently for those whom I love—even the wife I have yet to meet. His works include prayers of husbands for their wives, prayers of wives for their husbands, and prayers of parents for their children.
He has blessed us with easy-to-view, easy-to-download online copies. I have included them here. I pray this Thanksgiving produces a holy joy in our hearts and deepens our commitment to seek His face.
Blessings ~ Paul
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Voice in the Night
Lately, at night, with my window open, I lie still in bed and listen. When the wind is just right, it carries a voice to my bedroom. Namely, it is a song. I do not yet understand the lyrics. Perhaps it is a club singer, mourning over a love long gone, or a street performer, regaling an age-old tale. Yet whatever it is, the song is strangely familiar and hauntingly beautiful. I sometimes ponder quietly in my heart…could it be something more?
I have learned something in my listening. I do not carry the lonely pessimism of J. Alfred Prufrock, who in T.S. Eliot’s Love Song bemoans: “I have heard the mermaids singing each to each. I do not think that they will sing to me.” Instead, I share the eager desire of Samuel, who prays the short prayer Eli taught him to pray at dark: “Speak, Lord, for your servant hears” (1 Samuel 3:9). Like him, I dare to believe the voice in the night may be calling out to me.
…
Elijah once heard the voice of the Lord ask him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” The Bible says the voice did not come from the strong wind, or the earthquake, or the great fire. Instead, it came as a thin silence…a low whisper…a still, small voice.
Adam went through rediscovery when the Lord called out: “Where are you?”
Hagar heard a loving question in her distress: “Hagar, what troubles you?”
Isaiah heard this great call: “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?”
Ezekiel heard a song of praise: “Blessed be the glory of the Lord from its place!”
Daniel overheard this request, posed to an angel: “Gabriel, make this man understand the vision.”
Jonah was probingly asked: “Do you do well to be angry?”
The Apostle Paul’s life was changed when confronted with: “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?”
Peter was given this instruction: “Rise, Peter; kill and eat.” He was also rebuked with: “What God has made clean, do not call common.”
John received this invitation in Revelation: “Come and see!”
Most importantly, Jesus was anointed and affirmed with this: “This is my beloved Son, with whom I a well pleased; listen to him.”
All of this and more came from heaven, sometimes in a holy roar, but mostly in a gentle voice. I do believe with all my heart that the Lord is heard most loudly and clearly through His holy Word, the Bible. We do right to meditate on it night & day and hide it in our hearts. Yet, I also listen for the Spirit’s quiet promptings, spoken in the oft routine, the mundane, and the ordinary. We do well to pause and reflect, be still and know, lie awake and listen…for His voice in the silence may just be singing to us the song we need to hear. Let us lean in a little closer.
I have learned something in my listening. I do not carry the lonely pessimism of J. Alfred Prufrock, who in T.S. Eliot’s Love Song bemoans: “I have heard the mermaids singing each to each. I do not think that they will sing to me.” Instead, I share the eager desire of Samuel, who prays the short prayer Eli taught him to pray at dark: “Speak, Lord, for your servant hears” (1 Samuel 3:9). Like him, I dare to believe the voice in the night may be calling out to me.
…
Elijah once heard the voice of the Lord ask him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” The Bible says the voice did not come from the strong wind, or the earthquake, or the great fire. Instead, it came as a thin silence…a low whisper…a still, small voice.
Adam went through rediscovery when the Lord called out: “Where are you?”
Hagar heard a loving question in her distress: “Hagar, what troubles you?”
Isaiah heard this great call: “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?”
Ezekiel heard a song of praise: “Blessed be the glory of the Lord from its place!”
Daniel overheard this request, posed to an angel: “Gabriel, make this man understand the vision.”
Jonah was probingly asked: “Do you do well to be angry?”
The Apostle Paul’s life was changed when confronted with: “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?”
Peter was given this instruction: “Rise, Peter; kill and eat.” He was also rebuked with: “What God has made clean, do not call common.”
John received this invitation in Revelation: “Come and see!”
Most importantly, Jesus was anointed and affirmed with this: “This is my beloved Son, with whom I a well pleased; listen to him.”
All of this and more came from heaven, sometimes in a holy roar, but mostly in a gentle voice. I do believe with all my heart that the Lord is heard most loudly and clearly through His holy Word, the Bible. We do right to meditate on it night & day and hide it in our hearts. Yet, I also listen for the Spirit’s quiet promptings, spoken in the oft routine, the mundane, and the ordinary. We do well to pause and reflect, be still and know, lie awake and listen…for His voice in the silence may just be singing to us the song we need to hear. Let us lean in a little closer.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
The Winds of Change
Winter is quickly approaching here. That means the winds of change are again upon us. Mind you, I am enjoying having four real seasons here. Yet, I often find myself craving a sense of normalcy and stability within. I am learning that comes from embracing the truth that Jesus Christ is the same--yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8).
Other changes are in store for me here, great and small. As such, I must eschew the poetic and pastoral for this blog, in favor of the purely practical. First of all, my American friends are gaining an extra hour of sleep tonight. However, we do not “fall back” here for daylight savings. Thus, I am now 15 hours ahead of Texas.
Also, I will be moving on November 24th. My roommate Young Gwang will be moving to Seoul to pursue his future. As such, I will be moving to a one-bedroom apartment close to my first address. I will once again be living alone, and I will greatly miss his fellowship.
Teacher Park is also moving on from our church and hakwon to begin a new ministry venture. It is an exciting time for her. She has been a good teacher and friend at the school. She has also been a huge blessing in ministry settings. She leads the worship and provides translation for our student Bible study. I have been teaching on the ABCs of God, to outline His character for our students. I will miss her as a co-laborer.
Another important change—I will likely not have internet at my new apartment, at least until the end of the year. That means that Skype calls and Facebook chats may not be options for a while. I will have internet at school. Yet, my hours there are 11am to 7pm. That puts internet access at the time when the US is largely asleep.
For those desiring to send packages or letters for the holidays, please do not send anything to my current address past November 10th. It takes about 10 days for things to arrive. I will send out my new address when it is confirmed by month end.
There will also be more transition for me in the coming year. I have come to a firm decision regarding my future here. Due to various factors, I will not be staying in South Korea past my year contract. That means my return trip in March will now become a transition back to the States. I have no idea what lies next at this point. I know I am “moving on” from here, but I don’t know what “going back” will look like. I ask that you pray for wisdom for my tomorrow, yet also for intentionality in my today.
Of course, I have also come to understand that change is the norm here, especially last minute. For example, we had another show for parents on Friday night. It went quite well. Yet, for one reason or another, seven students and their families decided not to attend the night. Fortunately, I have learned to adapt. This time, the show focused on individual poems and acts, as opposed to group plays. I have learned to make plans very flexible. In the end, it spared us from potential disarray.
There is no telling what may be in store for my remaining time here—which new faces may enter the picture and what new experiences will come. Please pray for a continued spirit of flexibility. Also, please pray for Young Gwang and Teacher Park as they follow the Lord’s will for their futures. Continue to pray for our church, Evergreen Church, and school, English Village. And, as the winds of change continue to buffet my life here, pray that I seek to build every day upon the Rock. With all my love ~ Paul
Other changes are in store for me here, great and small. As such, I must eschew the poetic and pastoral for this blog, in favor of the purely practical. First of all, my American friends are gaining an extra hour of sleep tonight. However, we do not “fall back” here for daylight savings. Thus, I am now 15 hours ahead of Texas.
Also, I will be moving on November 24th. My roommate Young Gwang will be moving to Seoul to pursue his future. As such, I will be moving to a one-bedroom apartment close to my first address. I will once again be living alone, and I will greatly miss his fellowship.
Teacher Park is also moving on from our church and hakwon to begin a new ministry venture. It is an exciting time for her. She has been a good teacher and friend at the school. She has also been a huge blessing in ministry settings. She leads the worship and provides translation for our student Bible study. I have been teaching on the ABCs of God, to outline His character for our students. I will miss her as a co-laborer.
Another important change—I will likely not have internet at my new apartment, at least until the end of the year. That means that Skype calls and Facebook chats may not be options for a while. I will have internet at school. Yet, my hours there are 11am to 7pm. That puts internet access at the time when the US is largely asleep.
For those desiring to send packages or letters for the holidays, please do not send anything to my current address past November 10th. It takes about 10 days for things to arrive. I will send out my new address when it is confirmed by month end.
There will also be more transition for me in the coming year. I have come to a firm decision regarding my future here. Due to various factors, I will not be staying in South Korea past my year contract. That means my return trip in March will now become a transition back to the States. I have no idea what lies next at this point. I know I am “moving on” from here, but I don’t know what “going back” will look like. I ask that you pray for wisdom for my tomorrow, yet also for intentionality in my today.
Of course, I have also come to understand that change is the norm here, especially last minute. For example, we had another show for parents on Friday night. It went quite well. Yet, for one reason or another, seven students and their families decided not to attend the night. Fortunately, I have learned to adapt. This time, the show focused on individual poems and acts, as opposed to group plays. I have learned to make plans very flexible. In the end, it spared us from potential disarray.
There is no telling what may be in store for my remaining time here—which new faces may enter the picture and what new experiences will come. Please pray for a continued spirit of flexibility. Also, please pray for Young Gwang and Teacher Park as they follow the Lord’s will for their futures. Continue to pray for our church, Evergreen Church, and school, English Village. And, as the winds of change continue to buffet my life here, pray that I seek to build every day upon the Rock. With all my love ~ Paul
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